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Monday, December 06, 2004

I guess... the time for me to show more of my true self is now. too many pple see me for the bad person i'm not. haha... maybe i wun be as cheerful as i used to be... but who cares? i'm gonna do this one favour i owe myself. sorry peeps... but i guess my facade has to come down... hard. i dun want to be perceived as the "black sheep" in my family, or the evil person pple say i am. i wun be as friendly towards anyone no more. guess tts the way i should go... since... all my long-time friends are ignoring me now tt they're having fun or mixing with new pple. new feeling and emotions... i guess before the hurt of others leaving me upon the shelf starts to really kick in, i should go... lest i end up hurting more pple.

and no, i'm not contemplating suicide. there're pple who need me. i'll just be different from the ben everyone once tot they knew. dun blame me, u all forced me to withdraw. i guess i wun wana make new friends tt easily anymore, because friendship hurts too much when the other party just doesn't want to commit. i don't want friends who'll just use me because it's convenient for them. anyway, i tink it'd be for the better, because... i dun tink i haf tt long to live anyway. i tink it started a couple of years before... but heck... so what? at least before i go i want to have good memories of everyone i know, not bad ones. so i guess, before the huge wave of hurt washes over me, i better stop fooling myself and thinking tt pple are just pretending to be mean to me and using me for their own agendas.

Kenny died at 1:48 am