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Saturday, July 09, 2005

Damn... This is the fifth week I'm sick. This flu I'm having is quite... persistent. Sitting in front of this desktop computer, I can't help but wonder why some people act like they're so special and stuff. I don't want to go into an argumentative essay kind of explanation, nor do I want to explain my version of why God said that everyone was created equally. But then, I just wonder, why people like Hitler, Mao Zedong and my very own twin brother existed, or exist, in this world. It's like these people don't even like to listen to negative criticisms of their persons. Rather, they just put the poor sod who said something "wrong" to death, or condemn them. Sigh... I wonder why my younger brother can't take criticisms with an open mind. He bitches about people bitching about him. If he doesn't see the irony, I do. It's like someone saying "Hey! Don't screw my wife! Just because I'm screwing yours doesn't mean you can screw mine!" It's really too ironic. And if he doesn't realise it, most of the entries people blog bitch about something or the other. I think that, people should be rebellious or bad once in their lives, then reform themselves, learn from what they've seen or done, get on with their lives and become better people. It wouldn’t matter if he cursed people who deserved to be cursed. But then he has to go and bitch about people like Clara, Esther Tan (this is my online friend), and a whole lot of people who actually care about him. Just that he wants to listen to the bullshit that his friends always spout. Given, I also listen to my friends’ bullshit. At least I don’t cite their bull as examples or even exalt their words as holy writ. At least I think about the consequences of my actions. Being 19, I do have to think about other people and not just about my personal pleasure.

But sadly, with my brother, I don't think he can become better. He seems so enamored with his current lifestyle that he doesn't notice that he's become like the people he hated when he was in secondary school. He always hated my friends because they smoked, drank, clubbed and groped girls in clubs. He’s doing all the things he hates! But, at least have some respect for females, right? You wouldn't want some stranger groping your girlfriend/wife/lover/whatever when you're clubbing or having a drink at some coffee shop rite? Such are the double standards of today. Hell, you can even hear people screaming about abortion, but then when you catch the one of those anti-abortionists masturbating, let’s take for example, that it’s a man, he’ll probably say that he needed to relieve tension or that it’s his right. Hey, a woman has rights too. So she can choose whether she wants to abort her baby right? Plus he doesn’t seem to care about others, when they say anything regarding him. He just says, “Let them say what they want” even when they’re right and he’s wrong. Damn. He categorizes people into groups. And the group he hates, he won’t listen to them. He just has too fixed a mindset that the people in the group he hates are against him because they don’t like him. Well, they are actually concerned for him. But then he chooses to worship and believe the bullshit his friends speak.

And I’ll go crazy if I had to list all the double standards my brother has. He’ll say one thing, than do something else, and then if someone questions him about it, he’ll say that he wasn’t wrong. Oh God in Heaven, please help him. We don’t need a politician in the family. Damn… That sounds funny. But seriously, the man needs help. Be it a falling bible falling right smack onto his forehead or a pretty, nice, righteous Christian female girl falling madly in love with him and helping him along (though I doubt the latter will happen). But well... It is up to him to change and all. If he doesn't then well, it's his funeral.

Kenny died at 10:09 pm