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Tuesday, July 12, 2005

I'm so sleepy. This is the worst study break I'm having, with me still being sick and tired all the time. I haven't have had the time to really sit down and concentrate on whatever I'm studying without any distractions. Besides, there's a lot of people sick this semester. It's like my entire group of brothers are sick one way or the other.

But then there's other stuff to think about. I'm not sure of my feelings for her anymore. It's like she doesn't call, sms or anything. She just expects me to call her or something. Only when I don't sms or call in a few days then all of a sudden will one lone sms appear, asking how I am. It's like WTF. It's not that I'm in a relationship or anything. It's just that there are mutual feelings (No, I'm not talking about my left or right hands). She keeps citing me as an excuse not to go into anything further than "close friends". She keeps saying it's because I don't want to commit to any relationship. Yeah bull. If she doesn't want one then tell me. Stop giving me these excuses I've used all along. People get sick and tired of hearing the same things over and over, so either move on or get your act together.

I can't help it that I've grown tired of this charade. It's tiring to go through the same ritual over and over again. And to what gain? Nothing. Absolutely nothing at all. I rather she just tell me what she wants instead of she keep reminding me of what I said so long ago. I wish she'd stop hiding behind that lonely facade and acting like it's because of my and all. It isn't doing anyone any good at all. If she doesn't want anything, then fine with me. Quit when you're ahead, they say. Yeah, now that I'm losing steam I might as well quit the race before I lose my face. Simple as that, yet none the wiser.

Kenny died at 6:54 pm