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Friday, October 14, 2005

Oh my God... I just woke up from the worst dream ever. If you can call it a dream, that is. I think it was rather more like a nightmare. I can still vividly recall it, the way I woke up with a jolt and the thought "Oh f**k oh f**k oh f**k" going through my mind, and then muttering "What the f**k?". It was all so real! So now just let me just go through the details of this horror.

It all starts with me dreaming about some guy, whose facial features aren't clear, walking along somewhere that resembles Ang Mo Kio Ave 6 (Where I've lived until I was 12). The Guy (I'm going to call him that) is all dressed up, wearing a suit and smoking a cigarette, walking along the road to the Big Mac Center. Then suddenly he's ambushed (Or confronted?) by a big group of gangsters who start attacking him, and he proceeds to beat the crap out of them. The fight is over and The Guy looks down on the gang leader, smirks and tells him to do some research before going to beat up their targets. So then it happens. The Guy looks at his watch, and remembers that this is his wedding day. He starts to panic and seeing a taxi, he rushes for it, gets in, and gives the driver the address of the church where he's supposed to be married in.

Now the scene switches to the interior of a church, packed full with people and the bride is sitting in the front pew (which looks oddly familiar), and the pastor is saying something like "... and so he is late again" and people in the crowd whipering that "The Guy is even late for his wedding!?" (And I could hear my subconcious in my dream saying something like "What an idiot! He's late for his wedding? What kind of idiot does that?"). And then, as the pastor turns his back and opens the bible, already unable to control his laughter, when The Guy runs past the (glass?) wall panels that are on some side of the hall, and bursts through the door. Everyone turns to look, and from somewhere in the pews someone mutters, "What a prick." (Can't say whether it's my subconscious saying that). He walks up to the altar and stands beside the bride. And now it starts to become scary. Suddenly I hear someone say to me "Do you take *name* to be your lawfully wedded wife, to *blah blah blah blah*...", and I mutter something like "What the f**k, I'm 19!?" (Note: This is a dream. I won't say something like that in real life), which luckily no one hears. Taking a look around, I realise that I'm in Ang Mo Kio Methodist Church (Which I've been attending since I was 3), standing in front of the pastor, with my bride on my right. I haven't seen her face and I'm starting to hope she isn't some b***h I know and hate. So we exchange vows and then kiss.

The scene changes now to some setting (wedding banquet?) and there's a slide show of the bride being shown on a large screen, which someone on my left saying "Isn't she pretty/cute/innocent? *blah blah blah*..." And I'm slinking down in my seat, wishing I've never slept. And then the slide show, which most probably was done by my friends start, and people start laughing and talking and saying that I do a lot of stupid things, all meant in jest. And now I start cursing myself for sleeping instead of chatting online and playing FFX (Now that's a "What the F**k kind of thought). The scene changes yet again, and it seems I've decided not to drive, opting instead to take the bus with my wife. We're in a bus that's going past Shun Fu (The Bus 74 route), and my wife is hugging my arm and snoozing, with this peaceful look on her face (I honestly don't know who she is, coz it's quite blurry). And then someone whom I recognise stands up from the seat in front of me, she presses the bell, holding the pole and waiting to alight. Now this is where I suddenly wake up with a jolt. I just sit upright in my bed.

Now I don't know why I dreamt about this. I haven't thought about marriage ever in my life. I've only talked about it with my brothers, jesting about it and stuff like that, never seriously. I've also said that I'd never invite my brothers to my wedding, because I'd be utterly humiliated with the crap they're going to be probably be planning for it. Hey! I defend that right to deny them the pleasure. A wedding is serious! It's not like when you're planning someone's birthday bash, when you can do a lot of humiliating things to someone. Thinking about it, this is probably my fear of commitment, and commitment at the highest level, which means marriage. I'm still young, maybe thats why I'm so fearful of that dreadful "C" word. I'm starting to get sleepy now. I slept at 4.30am, and I woke at 9am. I'm going back to sleep now. Here's to hoping I don't dream about marriage this time.

Kenny died at 9:14 am