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Tuesday, October 18, 2005

Well... Somehow the idea of writing a funny piece on "Wet dreams" doesn't seems so funny after you've been awake from one for about 45mins and counting. But I can't seem to resist the temptation to write such things. Like the last one I did on the spur of the moment, the one that said that gays and lesbians shouldn't adopt? It made people delete me on Friendster. The body count was obvious, but I'm still going to write about this, because this topic is quite "taboo" in Singaporean society (Hey look! A new definition. Singaporean Society - used to describe a society which is very stiff and with a stick stuck up its collective ass). In a sense, it's taboo because such topics are the ones that people shy from discussing about, even in normal conversations. It's such a sad thing, because it would be a great way to start a conversation. "So how many wet dreams did you have in the last month?" Gee whiz. Try to imagine how many people would find it funny. Haha.

So! On with the main story. I woke up from a wet dream today. It was kind of weird, because (1) I could feel it (Normally I'd be "concussed" throughout my dreams) (2) The moment I woke up the first thing I thought was "It would be funny to blog about this". Luckily, I was lying on my side when I woke up, so no messy goo all over myself. People might think it's gross, but it's a natural cycle in life when a guy is over-producing. At least I'm natural and human. It also means that I haven't got laid in what seems like months, plus I don't masturbate much anymore. I think I'm becoming celibate! And talking about celibacy, I wonder if Catholic priests, Buddhist monks, Imams and other "Men of the cloth" have wet dreams. For Catholic priests, I wonder if they tell the altar boys that it's candy and to lick it off. Now that would start off a whole new controversy. Buddhist monks probably get all "comfy" with one another in their rooms. Imams? Now I wonder what they would do. Oh yes... I bet they'd just call Jihad on me for writing this unnatural piece and that "Man does not have wet dreams".

I apologise for digressing. Sometimes weird thoughts come in and I must process it before going on. Now come to think about it, I can kind of recall my dream. I dreamt that I was a cartoon and making love with a cute girl with big... mammary glands (so not going to say the "T" word). Yeah... a cartoon. Seems kind of kinky, but I like... So then I was stuck in my room, thinking of how I was going to go and wash up. Peeking out my door, I saw my mom napping on the couch. Thus I quietly made my way to the toilet and took a shower. And now I still can't believe that I woke up during a wet dream. Damn! And just 6 hours after I lost my cell phone. But the dream was memorable. She smelled good... Even... tasted delicious... Huh?! Ok... That was a weird moment there. Guess I'm still sleepy. For those of you morons out there: No, my hands weren't in my pants because it was a "mental orgasm". Pretty cool name huh?

I'm sleepy... I slept at 8am, and woke up at 10.22am... I need to get back to sleep. Need to wake up at 2pm and watch the repeat of "Lost" on AXN.

Kenny died at 11:04 am