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Monday, January 02, 2006

I don't know what I did wrong. Was it what I said or did? Of all the people I know in my life, she was the only one who didn't wish me a "Happy New Year", choosing instead to ignore me even though she was like 1 meter from me and everyone there and then was in the mood to do so.

Sigh... I guess to some people, I'm the shit that they step on. It's like I'm ostracised just because I smoke, have an abstract way of thinking, like to SMS people to warn them (for example, the rise in crime in their areas because it's happened to people I know), am very friendly and thuoghtful. Sometimes I think "F**k 'em, if they want to be that way, then so be it". But after that I'd think that it's better to have more friends and contacts than none, to exist peacefully with one another. It's ironic when you think about it, what with all the warmongering going around. Friends can become enemies overnight and vice versa. And some people definitely need a good slap in the face if they're in leadership roles, but don't extend their welcome to people they don't like, or couldn't be bothered with.

Why am I bothered with this, one might ask, since I'm such a slacker and someone who just doesn't really give a shit about what people think? I would say that in order to continue, to move on in life, one has to settle such thoughts, things, feelings, etc. In a way it's how I can get by without giving a damn about things. By rationalizing about things and situations. I didn't get to where I am by just wilfully going about my life without giving a damn about things that relate to me.

Bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch. I'm starting to get an itch. And it's a bitch. Don't tell me about people being human. If you're human you'd think about the feelings of other people as well as your own. No one can get far in life just thinking about themselves all the time and not think about the well-being of others. But some people are special cases. They are the ones that need suppositories by the ton to clear their ego, pride or fear of certain things. Damn... Have to stop typing soon. The fractures in my right hand are starting to hurt. Opps... might be a little self-sympathy there. But I have to think about myself first in order to be able to fully take care of the needs of others. Oops. Self-glorification. Damn. Guess I need to spend more time thinking about my life then.

And my resolutions for this year are:

1) Stop thinking that resolutions are just insignificant guidelines.

2) Either cut down on the number of cigarettes I smoke or just totally quit.

3) Clean out my ashtray more often. Or risk clogging the toilet bowl with cigarettes every couple of months (I know because I just dumped my cigarette butts in the toilet bowl and tried to flush them down).

4) Study harder!

5) Take slacking to a higher level.

6) Do less stuff that will end up with me getting fractures.

7) Clean my room.

8) Save more money.

9) To go to Hawaii.

10) And meet girls who are kawaii

11) Really humiliate people who call me gay.

12) Think of more resolutions along the way so as to keep myself occupied during class. I could just sleep but that would not be a good idea since people are waiting for me to do so in order to get revenge on me for the pranks I've played on them when they were sleeping.

13) Play more pranks.

And a Happy New Year to those that read my blog. Have a great year ahead =) Ciao!

Kenny died at 5:43 am