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Saturday, May 27, 2006

Here on my blog, I just want to say I bear no grudges. I know she reads my blog, and I just want her to know that I'm already over that episode at Starbucks. But, I know that she's probably pissed about what I wrote on my blog about that little episode. Definitely so. Well, people have their own ways of airing their views and thoughts. This is just my way of doing so.

I want to know where you belong
I want to know why I sing this song
I try to show how much I feel
Is that a dream or is it real?
I never looked where you belong
Until I got to sing my song
Is it a lie or is it true?

It's through my own folly that such things have come to pass, letting friendships go by, past my eyes. When I turn around, they're not there anymore. I wish somehow, I could have made more solid relationships with people, like I have with my brothers. Even though we have our squabbles sometimes, we always fix those problems and end up with stronger bonds. But I wish I could have known friends that I've lost on a deeper level. At least then, I wouldn't have lost them. Even if I lost them, at least I would have gained much better memories of them.

Just the way we are
I guess you've seen it now
A mirror of ourselves sure makes us weird
Falling down
From a mountain of frights
What's there to hold on to?

I wish I'd done better to hold on to my friends, to 'fight' for a chance to hold on to these friendships I've lost. I wish I didn't start so late in repentance of my ways, starting to look to them for another chance when I should have done so when the time was ripe. I guess it's too late to start finding a foothold to start anew. Too late for me to do anything anymore. I've climbed up a hill, but fallen off a mountain. Aquaintances are easy to make and easy to lose. Friends are hard to make, hard to lose, and who will tell you straight what they're thinking instead of sucking up to you. I regret a lot of things, but now I must move on. I cannot dwell too long on such things. Life doesn't wait until you've figured things out. Life is a constant gain of experiences and to experience all that you were made for, you have to move on, continue forward and never look back.

Kenny died at 2:14 am