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Sunday, July 16, 2006

In retrospect, my life isn't really going smoothly. Granted, it is generally going in the direction that I want it to. But then there's so many twists and turns in the route that I feel that just jumping off the mountain path I've taken and just following the stream beside. Like the Chinese always say (I'm not forgetting that I'm Chinese), "Yin Shui Si Yuan". Think of the water and remember where it comes from. It's sounds so much more optimistic than the ones the Caucasians often use when lost: "Follow the river and it will lead you back". Or something along that order. Well, if it leads you to a lake what the hell are you supposed to do? And if it leads you to an ocean or sea are you going to play "eeny meeny miny mo" to make a decision to take a left or right turn?

Well... According to the Chinese I should be thankful of where my humble beginnings lie, which is in the middle income range. However, it doesn't tell me where I should go. Dang. Back to square 1. Is this it? I must think of a better adage or saying. Maybe I should try "It's fate". Fuck that. I prefer "destiny". It sounds so much better. But I think destiny would work better for me if I could just get off my slacker ass and do something about what I want for my life. Damn it's getting quite miserable just ranting about useless shit here. Maybe I should just click my shoes together 3 times and wish "there's no place like home". Which will of course, bring me back home, right where I've been starting all along. Damn Dorothy and her black dog Toto. Ugliest beaver I've ever seen anyway. I'm not talking crap. If you've seen the 1970's or 80's production of "The Wizard of Oz" and know what a beaver is, you would know what I mean. Damn. I'm too tired to think straight. Time to sleep.

Kenny died at 2:48 am