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Saturday, October 27, 2007

Another long hiatus between posts.

NS has really sapped my energy and I don't really have anything interesting to blog about NS anyway, even though it takes up alot of my time now. But with regards to NS, I think my most enjoyable time was spent in Tekong in BMTC 1. I prefer it to life in an active unit. Now that I'm in 41SAR after dropping out of SISPEC, it really sucks. I can't believe that I've been posted to the 41st Armored Regiment as an Armor Infantry soldier, given that I'm injured, chest, arms, back, knees and left ankle. Sigh... that's how it is with NS. I'm getting the feeling that the government doesn't really care about us conscripted soldiers.

But another thing that's not helping my life now is that I still haven't gotten over with breaking up with Gu Yu. Even now, I'm not sure whether it's a break-up, or just a long hiatus because we haven't the time to meet. She's working 7 days a week for a company that's involved with the Integrated Resorts project, and I'm in NS. I throughly miss her so much, and every night, when I'm sleeping, I dream of her, reaching out her hand to catch me again as I'm running to her.

The dream is the same every night, and during the day, I just keep thinking of her. I can't forget her, the love that I longed to have. The girl whom I liked since day 1 in Ngee Ann Poly. From the first day I saw her, I fell so deeply in love with her, and it's depressing to say that I only got to know her in my 6th and final semester, and we broke up about 10 months later. As the date of our "anniversary" approaches, the 26th of December, I really can't help but think of her so much more now that we're apart. Everytime I book out and return home, I lean out my window and fondly look towards the North, towards Woodlands, where she lives.

I can't stop. I don't know why. It wasn't like this with other girls. Everytime I try to forget her, somehow she comes back to my mind and the memories of her become increasingly vivid. Why's that so, I don't really know - I haven't a clue. God above, please help me win back this girl, who has shattered my world to pieces, for I need her to fix everything back for me. I don't care what she's done with her life before I came into it, but I don't care. You taught me to love, Father, and that's why I can love her, to care for her and to want to understand her.

She has my blog address and I wonder if she reads my blog now and then. Gu Yu, I still love you so much.

Kenny died at 3:35 am